Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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