Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
