I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
