Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
