He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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