these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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