And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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