she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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