Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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