There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
