I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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