the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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