I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
