oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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