can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
