Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize