In the future we'll all be gay
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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