What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
