HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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