ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
