I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
