He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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