I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's blow job season.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
