Welp...herpes.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
