It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
