hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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