The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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