he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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