How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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