thus making me awesome and them whores
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
