dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
