How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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