I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
