Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
