white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
