Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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