Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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