Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
