where am i from again
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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