if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
