i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
