you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
