I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
