i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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