she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
