Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
