were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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