if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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