you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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