Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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