i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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