I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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