I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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