Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize