so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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