it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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