Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
