i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
