I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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