u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
