Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
