i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
