whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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